As the move to assisted living approaches, it is common to feel mixed emotions. You might feel a sense of peace in knowing your loved one will have access to 24-hour care and many socialization opportunities, while your loved one might be nervous about meeting new friends and getting acclimated to a new home or feel as if they’ve lost some independence. The more you know about what to expect on moving day and the days following, the more confident and empowered you will feel.

While each assisted living community is different, we’ve put together a few things you can likely expect along with some suggestions so you can ensure moving day goes as smoothly as possible.

Before moving day

A successful moving day begins long before the day itself. Most communities begin moving day communications with the family and senior at least a few weeks before the move when possible. Work closely with the community representative to get:

• Names of vetted and experienced moving companies.
• Forms that your loved one’s physician needs to complete prior to move-in.
• Forms to complete in order to begin using the community’s preferred pharmacy.
• Information about moving day itself, including move-in times and logistical details such as which elevator to use and where to unload and park.

You’ll also need to create a list of what to pack and what to leave behind when moving to assisted living. In addition, see if you can schedule a few times for your loved one to come to the community before moving in for a meal or to attend a group activity. This can be a great way for your loved one to become familiar with the community and the staff. They might even meet a new friend.

Moving day logistics

Depending on how your loved one feels, it might be easier for a family member to take them out to a meal or activity while the bulk of the move happens. You or another family member can arrive at the community to meet the moving van and coordinate where to put the larger items. You can even start to unpack items and hang art on the walls before your loved one arrives. This way, your loved one can avoid the stress of moving and arrive at a nearly unpacked home that feels familiar and comfortable.

If your loved one prefers to be involved in the action, ensure you or another family member is with them during the process so you can watch for any signs of stress or exhaustion. Let your loved one dictate where to put the couch, the dinner plates, and other belongings. You can step in to help with decisions as needed.

Moving day may be busy and hectic. Take it in stride, and be sure that you and your loved one are well-hydrated and well-fed.

Begin community living on day one

Transition trauma, sometimes referred to as transfer trauma or relocation trauma, is a real phenomenon that can affect seniors who are moving into new homes. Adults living with cognitive decline, as well as adults without a family support system, are more at risk for transition trauma, but any older adult can experience symptoms ranging from confusion to depression to restlessness. Fortunately, you can help your loved one establish routines that will decrease their risk of transition trauma or reduce their symptoms by getting them involved in the life of the community on their first day at their new home.

Meet the staff

The first step in immersing your loved one in community life is to encourage them to meet the staff who work there. Many team members will stop by your loved one’s new home on the first day. The staff will want to get to know your loved one so they can personalize their approach. Nurses and caregivers will introduce themselves, perform assessments, ask lots of questions, and begin to learn preferences for personal care. The dining director will ask questions about food preferences and favorite meals, and activity staff will ask about hobbies and interests.  

Have a meal in the dining room

It can be easy to want to collapse on the couch and order delivery on moving day. However, it could be beneficial to encourage your loved one to go to the dining room to enjoy a meal with their new neighbors. They’ll meet new friends and staff and become more acclimated to their new living situation while seeing the vibrant mealtime atmosphere. If they are feeling a bit timid, inquire with community staff to see if you can come to the dining room with them.

Try an activity

Group activities are the best way to meet new neighbors and begin having fun in an assisted living community. The activity department works hard to create an event calendar full of activities each day. Check the calendar to see what event your loved one might enjoy today, and send them to have a little fun while you take care of small unpacking tasks in their home.

Sitting down with the calendar and a highlighter with your loved one is also helpful. Look at upcoming events that sound interesting. Highlight them on the calendar, and hang it on the fridge so they will remember to get out and about. You might also record these events in your own calendar so you can remind them to attend.

Manage emotions on moving day and afterward

Moving day and the weeks following can be emotional for you and your loved one. Remember that all your feelings are valid. If your loved one calls you a few days after moving in and is sad, do your best not to try to “fix” it or rush them through the emotions. Instead, listen to how they feel and validate it. If you notice they are sad more often than not for more than a month, contact the community staff first to let them know about your observations. They might see something different or use your information to help your loved one make meaningful connections with peers in the community.

If your loved one continues to feel sad, consider speaking with their physician about it. A recurring appointment with a therapist experienced with seniors could also be a good option.

Similarly, be kind to yourself during this transition. Be sure to take some time for self-care, which might include journaling, setting up an appointment with your therapist, or scheduling time to hit the gym.

Good luck during your upcoming move. You’ll find that a bit of planning along with immediate involvement in community life will help ease the transition for your loved one.

If you’d like expert advice on any of this process, your local Oasis Senior Advisor is here to help.