Recognizing that your aging parent can no longer manage alone can feel overwhelming and scary. Gaining awareness of your parent’s needs and how well they’re managing on their own can give you the clarity to make choices with confidence. This guide will walk you through common challenges aging parents face when living alone and outline practical care options to support both them and you.

Realizing your aging parent needs more help

When you first realize your parent can’t manage as well on their own, you may feel anger, resentment, shock, or even grief as you watch their independence decline. You may find yourself feeling guilty that you aren’t doing enough. 

These are common emotions that caregivers experience as their parent ages and their needs change. They are not signs of weakness or failure but rather signs that you and your parent need more help. Acknowledging the changes and what you’re feeling is the first step toward finding solutions that work for both of you.

Common caregiving challenges when a parent lives alone

While caring for your parent, you may begin to notice changes in their functioning and independence that create new challenges. Living alone may be a source of pride for them, but when no one else is there to help, daily life can also bring real risks. Below are some concerns that indicate they could benefit from additional support in their life.

Safety concerns

Safety issues can create an urgent need for support when your aging parent lives alone. Even a small accident can quickly escalate into a dangerous situation. Some areas of concern include:

• Trips and falls.
• Slower reflexes or vision changes that make driving unsafe.
• Difficulty moving around the house.
• Forgetting to lock doors or turn off the stove.
• Trouble safely using appliances.
• Not accessing help immediately during an emergency or problem situation.

Daily living struggles

Tasks that once came easily can slowly become overwhelming for older adults. These struggles often show up in subtle ways at first but become more noticeable over time.

Some examples include:

• Dirty dishes piling up in the sink.
• Laundry left undone for weeks.
• Not showering or bathing.
• Wearing the same clothes or inappropriate clothing for the weather or time of day.
• Not attending to personal hygiene and grooming.
• Missing medication dosages or confusion about when to take medications.
• Trouble preparing nutritious meals.
• Skipping meals.
• Difficulty managing household chores like vacuuming, grocery shopping, or yardwork.

Social isolation

Living alone can be lonely for your aging parent, especially as their independence begins to decline. With fewer opportunities to get out, their ability to stay socially connected may start to fade. They may no longer be able to drive, keep up with the costs of social activities, or remember scheduled gatherings. Over time, this can lead to withdrawal from friends, neighbors, and community groups. Social isolation can lead to depression, memory decline, and physical health problems.

You might notice them:

• Not attending social activities they once enjoyed.
• Spending long stretches of time at home alone.
• Withdrawing from neighbors, friends, or even family phone calls.
• Lacking motivation to get out of the house or engage in hobbies.
• Experiencing mood changes, such as irritability or sadness.
• Watching TV, sleeping, or sitting in quiet for long hours.

Health changes

As your aging parent’s health needs shift, living at home alone can become increasingly difficult. Memory lapses, new diagnoses, or worsening chronic conditions often create stress, impairments, and difficulties for both your parent and you. 

Some difficulties may include:

• Forgetting to pay bills, attend appointments, or take the right medications.
• Worsening of chronic illnesses and conditions leading to discomfort and hospital visits.
• Difficulty keeping up with and managing medical care.
• Growing confusion, disorientation, or forgetfulness.

Care options for an aging parent who lives alone

As the challenges of living alone present, it may be time to consider how different care options can help support your parent and you. There are many different options to consider, and your choice depends on your parent’s needs, preferences, and health, as well as your family’s resources.

Here are some options for extra help.

In-home support services

Many families begin by seeking the support of in-home caregivers. A professional caregiver can allow your parent to stay in their own home and receive needed assistance. They can assist with tasks such as:

• Personal care, like bathing, grooming, and dressing.
• Light housekeeping.
• Meal preparation.
• Errands.
• Transporation.
• Companionship.
• Medication management.

Geriatric care managers

A geriatric care manager is a trained professional, often with a background in nursing, social work, or gerontology. They specialize in helping older adults and their families manage the many tasks and responsibilities that come along with aging. Their role is to help your parent receive the right support.

Here are some of the many ways a geriatric care manager can help:

• Assessment of needs and care planning: Evaluating your parent’s physical, emotional, and social needs and creating a plan of support.
• Coordinating medical care: Scheduling appointments, arranging transportation, and helping your parent follow through with treatment recommendations.
• Connecting with care providers: Setting up in-home care, meal delivery services, transportation, and other in-home care needs.
• Long-term care planning: Helping your family consider future needs before a crisis occurs.

Assisted living communities

Assisted living communities are residential settings designed for older adults who need help with daily activities. Residents typically live in private or shared apartments with community dining, activities, and staff support.

In assisted living, your parent would typically receive assistance with:

• Daily living support, such as bathing and grooming.
• Meals.
• Social connection and activities.
• Safety monitoring.
• Housekeeping and laundry.
• Maintenance.
• Transportation services.

Memory care communities

Memory care communities are specialized living communities for people living with Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, or other memory-related conditions. They provided a higher level of care for safety, structure, and personalized care. If your parent has some form of cognitive decline, this could be a good option.

In addition to the supports found in an assisted living community, a memory care community typically offers: 

• A secure environment with locked doors and monitored entrances.
• Specialized staff trained to manage the behavioral and emotional needs of those with dementia.
• Structured daily routines and activities with support from staff.
• Family support with education and communication to help the family stay connected and supported.

Continuing care retirement communities (CCRCs)

A continuing care retirement community offers multiple levels of care (which may include independent living, assisted living, memory care, and skilled nursing) on one campus. This approach allows your parent to stay in the same community without needing to relocate to a new facility as their care needs change.

A CCRC offers:

• A continuum of care with smooth transitions between levels of care as your parent’s needs change.
• Stability from remaining in a familiar environment with friends and routines without the stress of making multiple moves.
• Access to a variety of services such as dining, fitness, medical care, and social programs.
• Peace of mind for you and your parent in knowing that higher levels of care are available when needed.

As you begin to recognize that your aging parent’s well-being is in jeopardy because they live alone, you can begin to face these challenges and find an appropriate solution for your parent and your family. Whether you utilize support from in-home care, a geriatric care manager, or a senior living community, you can take the steps to help your parent remain safe, supported, and engaged in life. Start small. Explore one option today, whether it’s a home care consult, a meeting with a senior advisor, an assisted living tour, or a call with a care manager.

Senior care facility rules and requirements vary based on company-specific policies and state-level regulations. The content above represents common guidelines but may differ from a particular facility’s policies or requirements. To learn the regulations that apply in your state, contact your local Oasis Senior Advisor.