If you’ve noticed that your aging loved one could use a little extra help in order to stay healthy, you may feel anxious about bringing up assisted living and unsure of how they will feel about it. In many cases, though, a senior who is struggling at home alone will likely understand that a little extra assistance could be the best option. The key to easing the process and transition is to involve them as much as possible, from choosing a community to settling into their new home.

Here are a few ways to involve your loved one in moving to assisted living. Keep in mind that each senior is unique. Your loved one might be a good fit for all of these ideas or just a few. Use your best judgment and treat these tips as inspiration to personalize the move.

Invite them into the research process

Inviting your loved one into the decision-making process can reduce stress, including the first step of simply researching what your options are. Invite your loved one to sit beside you and offer input as you:

• Visit websites of local assisted living communities.
• Talk with a senior placement advisor about the options.
• Speak with their physician about care needs and recommendations.
• Compare community costs with current monthly expenses like rent, groceries, and transportation.

By involving them in the decision-making process, your loved one will feel empowered and more confident about the transition to assisted living.

Take tours of assisted living communities and ask questions together

After researching assisted living options, it is time to begin looking at communities in person. Senior placement advisors and assisted living communities will encourage you to bring your senior loved one on a tour.

During the tour, your loved one can get a feel for:

• Available apartments.
• Dining spaces, menus, and meals.
• The community’s residents.
• Activities, events, and shared spaces like gardens or libraries.

You’ll also meet with key staff members. Invite your loved one to ask questions about what matters most to them, including the following:

• Can I invite family to eat with me?
• What are the visiting hours?
• Can I bring my pet?
• Will meals support my medical diet?
• How do I sign up for activities?
• How do I get a ride to appointments?
• Can I visit for a meal or an event before I move in?

Compare assisted living communities together

Once tours are complete, sit down together and make a decision as a team. Writing a list of pros and cons for each community can be helpful.

This list can also give you insight into what matters most to your loved one, which can guide you in the weeks and months ahead. For example, if they care most about family visits, you can schedule check-ins or calls from relatives during the early weeks in their new home.

Pack and downsize with intention

Packing up a home full of memories to downsize is a big task. Still, many older adults find meaning in being involved in downsizing when moving to assisted living. They might enjoy:

• Hosting a legacy party to pass along special items to family or friends.
• Taking photos of items they’re giving away and creating a memory book.
• Choosing where to donate their belongings.
• Helping pick a senior-friendly moving company.
• Creating a moving day schedule that helps everything run smoothly.

You can also invite them to help get ready for their new home by doing the following:

• Measuring the new space to plan furniture layout.
• Shopping together for new sheets or towels.
• Choosing art for the walls.
• Sending out moving cards to share their new address.

Make assisted living moving day collaborative

Moving day can be stressful, but involving your loved one in small ways can help them feel more in control. You can join them as they:

• Decide where they would like items to be placed.
• Walk through their new home and learn where things are.
• Meet neighbors and greet caregivers.

These small acts make the space feel more familiar and welcoming.

Help them settle in slowly

The transition doesn’t end on move-in day. It might take weeks or months for your loved one to feel fully at home, and that’s normal. Support their adjustment by encouraging them to:

• Arrange fresh flowers for their space.
• Invite a neighbor over for coffee.
• Attend one activity per day and tell you about it.
• Eat in the dining room instead of ordering room service.
• Write letters or emails sharing what they like about the community.
• Host a visiting family member or friend in the first few weeks.

The more involved your loved one is when moving to assisted living, the more confident and empowered they will feel. Staying connected to the transition process, in big and small ways, can make all the difference.