Moving an aging parent into a senior living community, like assisted living, a nursing home, or a memory care facility, can be both emotionally and logistically challenging. A planned and prepared move can decrease the stress that everyone experiences and allow for a more positive transition. This article offers actionable tips for moving your parent to senior living to help you go through the process effectively and supportively.

Communicate with the community before the move

Your parent’s new senior living community can provide you with important details to ensure a smooth transition. By reaching out ahead of time, you can gather valuable information, create a timeline for the move, and reduce stress on moving day.

When you communicate with your parent’s community, you can learn more about what to expect regarding: 

Your parent’s new living space:

• What furniture is provided (bed, dresser, table, chair)?
• What personal appliances are allowed (microwave, mini-fridge, coffee maker)?
• What is the room layout (to plan what furniture and personal belongings your parent will bring)?
• Does the community provide any necessary items like toiletries, linens, or laundry detergent?

Move-in day logistics:

• Confirm move-in dates and times.
• Ask about required move-in paperwork or check-in procedures.
• Inquire if the community provides any moving equipment, like dollies.
• Find out if there are partnerships with preferred moving companies.
• Check to find out what staff will be available to greet you, welcome your parent, and direct you through the move-in.

Involve your parent in decision-making

Engaging your parent in decisions about the move helps them feel valued and in control of their new living situation. 

Consider seeking their input on decisions such as:

• Choosing personal items to bring to their new home.
• Selecting meaningful items and keepsakes to personalize their new space such as photos, knickknacks, and special furniture.
• Deciding how they will decorate their new living space.

Plan the move around your parent’s abilities and needs

Tailor the move to your parent’s abilities. If they can actively participate in the process, they will likely feel less stressed and more involved in the experience. If they can’t, you can still make plans to help make the transition less stressful. Energy-based scheduling is a subtle but effective tip for moving that supports emotional and physical well-being.

• Schedule activities during their most alert and energetic hours.
• Break the move into smaller, manageable tasks if it helps them participate.
• If your parent cannot be involved with the move, arrange for a loved one to spend time with them outside the house.

Start downsizing early 

Begin the downsizing process well in advance of the move. Knowing that you have enough time to downsize can reduce some pressure and allow for enough time to make thoughtful decisions. 

Consider these strategies:

• Sort items into categories such as keep, gift, donate, sell, or discard.
• Begin with non-sentimental items like excess clothing, kitchen items, and bathroom decor to remove some of the emotion and build momentum.
• Consider hiring a move manager that specializes in in working with seniors through the National Association of Senior and Specialty Move Managers (NASMM) or Moves for Seniors.

Create a packing checklist 

Create a detailed packing checklist to guide you through the packing process and to make sure that nothing important is forgotten. Check with the facility to see if they provide any of the items on your list.

Items to include in your packing list include: 

• Essential documents: Identification, medical records, list of doctors, contact information for appropriate parties, insurance information, and any necessary legal documents.
• Clothing: Comfortable everyday wear, undergarments, sleepwear, outerwear, and shoes. Label items to avoid confusion in the laundry.
• Linens: Bedding, towels, etc.
• Toiletries: Personal hygiene items for bathing, dental care, skin care, hair care, and cosmetics.
• Medications: Prescriptions, over-the-counter medications, vitamins, and supplements.
• Comfort items: Favorite pillows, blankets, or personal mementos that provide emotional comfort.
• Mobility aids: Walkers, canes, wheelchairs.
• Durable medical supplies: Portable commodes, raised toilet seats, oxygen equipment, bedside rails or supports.
• Practical items: Small appliances allowed by the community, such as a microwave or mini-fridge.
• Decor and keepsakes: Photos, artwork, and other personal items to personalize their new space.
• Entertainment: Books, puzzles, and hobby supplies.
• Electronics and communication devices: Televisions, tablets, phones, and charging equipment.
• Furniture not provided by the community: Beds, sofas, chairs, dressers, lights, shelves.

When packing, label all personal belongings, especially clothing and boxes, with your parent’s name and room number. A labeling system is a simple tip for moving that prevents mix-ups in shared environments and makes unpacking easier.

Create a comforting first-day setup

Your parent’s first day in their new home can set the tone for their transition. Some simple and thoughtful steps can make their new environment feel familiar and welcoming, decrease anxiety, and increase their sense of belonging at the new community. 

To create a comforting and welcoming environment, consider the following:

• Set up familiar items first. Arrange personal items like favorite photos, bedding, or cherished keepsakes to help the new space feel more like home.
• Introduce your parent to staff and residents. Building these connections early can help your parent feel a part of the community.
• Review the activities calendar together. Look for events or groups your parent might enjoy, and encourage them to participate.
• Review the menu and dining arrangements to ensure your parent feels comfortable with their choices.

Be prepared for emotions (yours and theirs)

The transition to a new living environment can be emotionally challenging for both you and your parent. 

Empathy, compassion, and support can help everyone move through tough emotions:

• Acknowledge the emotions. Recognize that sadness, anxiety, or even excitement are normal during this transition. Allow space to feel and express these emotions.
• Maintain a supportive attitude. Offer reassurance and understanding to your parent (and yourself).
• Be patient with yourself and your parent as you adjust to this new chapter. 
• Keep the communication open with each other during this time of transition.

By focusing on creating a warm, welcoming environment and being mindful of emotional needs, you can help your parent settle into their new home with confidence and comfort.

Managing the challenges of moving your parent into a senior community can be stressful, but thorough preparation and open communication can make the transition smoother. By involving your parent in decisions, starting the downsizing process early, and creating a comforting setup, the experience becomes less stressful for everyone. Keep these tips for moving in mind to reduce stress and foster a smoother, more positive experience.