Our parents are often sources of advice and strength, guiding us through life and providing support when needed. However, roles can change as they age, and we may find ourselves supporting them instead, creating a new situation. In doing so, we need to ask ourselves how we can best help aging parents, which includes recognizing their needs and identifying the resources at hand. Today, we highlight the most crucial steps to consider to help your aging parents and key pieces of wisdom to guide you through the process.
Assess your parent’s care needs
To begin with, it’s crucial to consider your parent’s care needs. What are they able to safely do for themselves? Where are they starting to struggle?
Knowing about activities of daily living (ADLs) and instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs) can be helpful here. ADLs are the basic self-care tasks we all perform, like bathing, dressing, moving around, and using the bathroom. IADLs are more complex daily living activities, like managing finances, housekeeping, and shopping.
As people age, their abilities in these areas may start to change. Such shifts can be subtle at first, like finding it more difficult to stand after sitting or going out less often because of mobility challenges. Some parents may be reluctant to admit they are facing challenges, especially if they’re strongly independent.
If you’re unsure of their needs, look for changes in their behavior and areas they appear to find more challenging. Honest conversations can be powerful as well, especially if you reassure them that getting support in some areas does not mean they’ll lose their independence.
Get up to speed on your parent’s health status
The next area to address is your parent’s health status, including any possible progressing health conditions. Part of getting up to speed may involve talking to your parent’s physician and perhaps doing some independent research.
This learning is crucial, as health conditions can directly impact a person’s care needs now and in the future. Your parent’s physician may also be able to inform you about the best ways to promote future function. This might include changes to their diet, increased exercise, or encouragement to stay socially connected.
Identify ways to make their living environment safe
Making the home safe is also crucial, especially for parents who hope to age at home, known as aging in place. Safety modifications may be necessary, such as installing grab bars, adding nonslip surfaces, adjusting the height of countertops, and improving the lighting. Some homes may need more dramatic improvements, such as widening doorways to accommodate a wheelchair or installing a stair lift.
Downsizing can sometimes be a more economical option. This allows seniors to sell their current home and find a smaller, safer place to live, possibly one that costs less.
Sometimes changes in the home won’t be enough to keep the senior safe. They may need to move to a more supportive environment, like assisted living or a nursing home.
Determine their support network
Helping aging parents shouldn’t mean doing everything — trying to do so is a recipe for disaster. Instead, it’s important to assess their support network. Who would be able to help out regularly? Do any friends or family members live nearby? What about neighbors?
Also think about local resources, including senior centers, recreation centers, transportation services, and social groups. There are often many free or low-cost services that can help with transportation, social connections, care, and more.
The strength of the support network will determine whether you need to hire paid support to help your aging parents stay safe at home.
Learn their financial situation
It’s also important to consider your parent’s financial situation. What is their regular income? What about money in the bank, retirement accounts, stocks, assets, and other resources? You can also think about any financial support they may be eligible for. It may be necessary to step in and start managing your parent’s finances if they are struggling to do so on their own.
Understanding their resources can also help you determine which care options are realistic, if they need support. For example, how many hours of in-home care could they afford per week? Could they afford an independent living community, assisted living, or memory care, if needed?
Ensure the proper legal and estate documents are complete
Legal and estate planning are crucial. This includes advance planning documentation, like a power of attorney and a living will, along with a traditional will and any financial and estate-based forms.
While this paperwork can sometimes be tedious and frustrating, it’s also critical. It helps things go smoothly later, especially if your parents stop being able to speak for themselves.
This type of paperwork tends to be easiest when your parent is in relatively good physical and cognitive health. It’s best to do the paperwork early and then amend it later if needed.
Consider future changes
To effectively help your aging parents, you need to consider their future. Their abilities are likely to decline further over time, especially if they have a progressive condition or multiple chronic illnesses. Because of this, you’ll need to consider possible changes to their health and abilities. Thinking about the future allows you to predict evolving care needs and adjust your parent’s environment early.
For example, someone diagnosed with dementia will experience progressive declines in their cognition and ability to care for themselves. Making their home safer and hiring a caregiver for a few hours each day might help in the beginning, but they’ll likely get to the point where they require 24/7 care, perhaps in a memory care facility.
Bring it all together
The final step is to combine all these ideas and develop a plan specific to your aging parent. To do so, consider how these different areas balance and what matters most.
You might start by looking at your parent’s current care needs and health status, and how both areas may change. Also think about how the safety of their home could be improved. Then examine their support network and financial situation to see what assistance they may need. Older adults with sufficient finances may be able to pay for professional in-home caregiving or move to a care facility. In contrast, others may need to rely on friends and family members. Completing legal documents helps protect the senior regardless of the chosen approach.
You may also need to revisit the evaluation areas in this article periodically. Consider whether there have been any notable changes in care needs, finances, support network, and living environment. Is the current setup meeting your parent’s needs? Is it likely to do so in the future? What could be changed to help them further?
Final thoughts on helping aging parents
As your parents age, their abilities and needs might change. Knowing it is time to step in and help your aging parents can be stressful and emotional, but with the right information, you can navigate these changes with ease. Be sure to address all the areas mentioned above, and you will provide the support and help your aging parents need to stay safe, healthy, and prepared for any changes.
